Addicted

So, I figured I’d address one of the darker parts of mental illness. I mean, it’s really all pretty dark, but this was the shadowy, really secretive abyss for me, personally. I found myself addicted to a couple prescription medications as a teenager. They were prescribed to treat a very real condition, but I found […]

How To: Inpatient Stay

Inpatient care for mental illness is beyond stigmatized. It is almost demonized, at least where I come from. When I was told I was being to a behavioral health center following my first overdose, I went into full panic mode. Every alarm was going off in my head and all I could say was no. If […]

Life After (attempted) Death

When I woke up in the ICU after my second suicide attempt, I looked up at the ceiling tiles and just wondered…how? How could I possibly live my life after this? I hadn’t planned for after because there wasn’t supposed to be one. I wish someone had told me then that there was a whole […]

Post-Atom Bomb

Hey you, Stop. For just a moment, pause and take a deep breath. I know what’s happening in your head right now. You can call BS on that, but I’m telling you honestly, I get it. It’s like an atom bomb has gone off. There’s been a massive explosion of emotion and it’s devastated all […]

Survive

I am a survivor of things most people will never face and will never understand. I have been pinned down, struck, mocked, lied to, shared, and traumatized. I have looked into the eyes of men who felt nothing but pleasure as they took what was mine. I have iced bruises and fat lips, soaked in […]

Dear Mom

Mom, This April will mark six years since we said goodbye. I have a hard time grasping that, because in my head, we’re still in the backseat of the car on the way to the hospital. You’re crying and I’m singing our lullaby and trying to stop all of the bleeding. You can’t move very […]